Nine Month Letter

Milo man,

You are the sweetest little boy and I am just having a ball watching you learn and discover new things everyday.  You have really started to become more aware of your surroundings and anxious to touch and play with everything you can get your hands on.

You are sitting like a champ these days, I can put you on the floor with your toys and you'll happily play for roughly 10 minute stretches.  But, jumping in your bouncer is still your all-time favorite thing to do.  It doesn't matter what time of day it is or if you're sick or healthy.  That bouncer is your best friend!

I swear that you're teething and everyday I expect to see a little tooth in your mouth, but no such luck.  You are just so fussy so often that I can't really imagine it being anything different.  Although, it could be the recurring ear infections you seem to be getting. That's no fun for anyone - cut it out, ok?

You started clapping this month and it's just about the cutest thing ever.  You clap when you're happy and you clap when you're watching TV.  You clap in your bouncer and you clap when I clap.  You love it and I love watching you do it.

Crawling....oh boy.  That's something that is not even on your radar.  You have absolutely no desire to be mobile, you're totally content to just sit.  And for now, I'm totally co
ntent with that too.  Eventually though, I hope to see you cruising around this joint and causing all sorts of trouble!

You are such a great eater! You've started eating little pieces of table food whenever we have meals and you are handling them so well! You're not nearly as picky as your brother and it's so nice to have a child that will actually eat food instead of putting it in his mouth and spitting it out.  In the eating department - you're definitely my favorite child!

I can't believe that you've been with us just as long as I was pregnant with you. You're growing up so fast little one.  And I'm loving having your in our family.

Love you bunches little boy!

Love, Mom

Eight Month Letter

Milo boy,

Eight months old and you are finally sitting! I can't leave you alone because you only sit for 20-30 seconds at a time, but you're sitting! We are all so excited about it, and you are so proud of yourself.  You do pretty good until something catches your attention and you look to the side or behind you, then you just topple over.  Sometimes cooper thinks it's funny to push you over and you don't think it's all that funny. Pretty soon you'll just push him back, don't worry.

You're starting to sleep better at night! Sometimes you still wake up once during the night and want a bottle, but you eat it and then go right back to sleep without a peep.  And then sometimes you just sleep all night long until 6 or 6:30.  I really love those nights best.  But, what I would really love is if you'd sleep in just a little longer.  Maybe 7 or so? If you did that then your nap would line up with your brother's and I would get a little break during the day.  Just consider it, OK?

So you starting snacking this month.  I've given you little puffs and bits of yogurt bits and you love both of them.  It's the cutest thing to see you just chomping away on those snacks, it sure makes you look old!  You haven't quite figured out how to pick them up and put them in your mouth though.  So right now I'm feeding them to you, but you'll get a hang of it eventually!

You are rolling and inching your way across the floor to go anywhere you want these days.  It's not crawling, it's more of a "bridge".  You lay on your back and arch your back, you put all your weight on your head and push as you dig your heels into the ground.  Sound complicated? Yes, that's because you're making it much harder then it needs to be.  But, it gets you around the room little by little. So I guess it works out.  I can't leave you alone for more than a few minutes before you can literally move from one side of the room to the other in 2 minutes.

Now that you're sitting you're able to play with your brother a little more and I love to watch that.  It's more like cooper piles his toys on and around you and then takes them all out of your hands as soon as you reach for one.  But, it's interaction and I love it!

My sweet Milo, I love you.

Love, Mom

Seven month letter

Milo Bug,

I can't believe seven months have already come and gone.  You sure are turning into a joy.  Everyday you seem to get a little happier and more interactive! Everywhere we go people tell me how adorable you are.  My favorite thing you do right now is be shy and bashful.  Every time someone looks at you and smiles or talk to you, you always smile back and then get shy and put your head down or bury it into my shoulder if I'm holding you.  It doesn't matter who it is or how many times they talk to you, you do it overtime.  And every time my heart skips a beat.  You're a sweet one.

You are still eating solid foods really well and enjoying more and more flavors.  You eat a mixture of homemade baby food and store bought baby food.  You refuse to eat home made carrots, but you gobble up store bought carrots.  You're weird like that.  Your current favorite food is a banana avocado combo that I make for you.  You would eat that for every meal if I let you.  But, if I give you straight avocado then you start gagging you hate it so much.

Still no sitting and you haven't really made much progress lately.  Sometimes I worry that you really may never sit.  Maybe you'll be on your back for an entire year until you start walking.  I guess we'll see, but it'd be really nice if you would just bend your knees and sit.  I think you'd really like it.

Another thing I think you'd like is your stroller, if you gave it a shot.  You are in that thing for two minutes before you start throwing a fit.  Your brother usually throws a fit first because he wants to get out and cause mischief and you just follow suit.

You love when dad comes home from work and plays with you.  You don't really laugh yet, but you do squeal.  And you save your best squeals for dad.  I try to get you to laugh all day long and all I get is smiles, but when dad gets home it's a non-stop squealing fest.  I'm actually ok with it, I love to watch the bond that you two have.

You love to be in your jumper more than any baby I've ever met. It's the cutest thing how happy it makes you.

I'm starting to realize that you're quickly outgrowing my newborn baby stage and I'm kind of sad about it but I'm more excited to see the toddler you're going to become and to watch you start to play with your brother.  I have a feeling we have some fun years ahead of us.

Love you to the moon and back.

Love, Mom

6 Month Check Up

6 Month Appointment

9/24/2014

Six Month Letter

Oh Milo boy,

You sure are a sweet boy.  You and your dad love to cuddle and talk to each other.  You don't talk to me much, but whenever dad comes around you turn into a chatterbox. It's the cutest thing to watch! You really do try to be happy most of the time - usually crying means your hungry, tired, or want to be held.

You are still not sitting up on your own yet, but you are getting closer.  You refuse to bend your legs, you have no bum fat, and your bum is crooked from your lipomylo condition.  So, it's taking you a little longer to figure it out and that's just fine! I still try and put you in shopping carts when I can though - your brother does a pretty good job and helping you stay upright in the seat.

You are doing so good eating solid foods that it just makes my heart sing! You love bananas, peas, and carrots.  Peaches and mangoes are still a little too tart for you, but you'll eat them if you're in a good mood.

You're getting a little better at sleep, but there's definitely still room for improvement.  You go to bed at 7PM and you usually wake up around midnight and again around 3AM.  You aren't wanting to stay awake and play as much anymore, but you're still just a little fussy.  Hopefully this is just a phase caused by teething or something and you'll get back to sleeping through the night soon.  A mama can hope, right?!

Still no teeth yet, which actually surprises me.  You've been drooling up a storm and chewing on anything that you can get your hands on.  One of these days I swear I'm gonna look in your mouth and see 4 teeth.

You still really enjoy tummy time and you just roll all over the place, can't leave you alone for a single second anymore!

Love bug, I sure am fond of you.

Love,

Mom

Five Month Letter

Milo,

My how you have really started to develop a little personality! You have certain things that you like and certain things that you don't.  You really like to watch TV. I know, I know, you shouldn't be watching TV at your age.  But, often times I turn on the TV for Cooper to watch a show while I feed you and most of the time you pay more attention to the show then Cooper does! However, you only watch it if it's baby genius - anything else and you don't even pay attention to it!

You're pretty dang good at tummy time these days and you're always rolling onto your tummy the second I lay you down.  You sleep on your tummy and you play on your tummy.  Good exercise for you neck, I guess! You hold your head up good these days and it's making you look like such a big boy!

I keep trying to get you to sit up on your own, but we're having some trouble.  You, mr. milo, do not like to bend you legs.  You're never going to sit if you don't bend your legs to help you balance! We do exercises everyday to help you bend your legs and open up your hips, but you hate them.  It's not fun for either of us, but we still do them twice a day.

Sleep, oh sleep.  Remember sleep? You used to sleep so well and now you're not very good.  You went from sleeping 9-10 hours straight to only 3 hours stretches.  You wake up multiple times during the night.  Sometimes you want to eat, but sometimes you just want to be awake and party.  Sorry son, but at 3AM it's a party for 1.  I put you in your crib and let you kick around and talk all you want until you start to get fussy. Then I go in and make you go to sleep again.  It's rather exhausting.  I think that you should probably go back to sleeping for 10 hours - it was easier on all of us!

With each passing month you are getting happier and happier.  You flash your little gummy smile at people everywhere we go! People always tell me how happy and cute you are.  I agree, you are happy and cute.  But not all the time - you are sometimes very very unhappy.  I can't always figure out what's wrong though, it's a guessing game.  Sometimes it's as simple as changing a diaper.  But then sometimes I do everything that I can possibly think of to make you feel better and it takes a good hour to hour and a half to get you calm and happy or sleeping again.

Sweet boy, I love you.  Happy baby or sad baby, I love you the same.

Love, Mom

4 Month Check Up

4 month appointment - 7/30/2014

12 pounds 2 ounces - 6%

25 inches - 56%

Four Month Letter

Love Bug,

I'm not quite sure when it started, but love bug became your new nickname.  Sometimes we forget what your real name is because all day long you are called love bug and lovey.  Not the most masculine nicknames...but very fitting.  You're so sweet and always being smothered with so much love.

You're getting so good at tummy time and holding your head up.  You used to hate tummy time, but you are starting to last for longer periods of time.  Slowly your starting to lift yourself up with your arms and it makes you so happy to see things around you instead of staring at the ground.

You finally got your 2 month immunization shots this month - you couldn't get them when you were two months old because we didn't want to risk you getting a fever and postponing your surgery.  You handled the shots like a champ - you only cried for a few minutes and then you were totally fine the rest of the day! I expected you to come home and take a nice long nap - but instead you just smiled and kicked all afternoon long! I guess with everything you've been through...those shots are nothin.  You're so tough.

Cooper loves you so much.  Every morning when he wakes up he goes straight to your room to say good morning! If your still sleeping and I won't let him go in then he throws a fit and starts screaming.  Sometimes his screaming wakes you up and sometimes it doesn't.  Coop wakes up really early in the morning, so on the mornings that he doesn't wake you up we're all pretty happy that at least one of you is sleeping in.

Speaking of sleep, you are a pretty good sleeper.  9-10 hours seems to be your staple.  We always give you a bath and then feed you a bottle and put you down.  You really like to go to bed by 8, and if we try to keep you up later than that then you kind of lose it.  You're just like you mom - you really enjoy going to bed early.  The difference, is that you like to wake up early too.  I, on the other hand, like to sleep in.  Hopefully one of these days you'll figure out the true art of sleeping.  12-13 hours...that my son, is where it's at.

You're such a sweet little boy and the spirit you bring into our home is immeasurable.  We love you more than we can even say.

Love,
Mom

Three Month Letter

Milo,

Sometimes when I think about you I can't believe that you are already 3 months old, and then sometimes I feel like you've been with us for so long that you should be much older.  I feel like you've been a part of our family forever, and I really love it.  These last few weeks have been incredible for you.  You've made huge progress in lots of areas and we're all so proud of you!

You had your surgery last month, and just like I knew you would be, you were a total champ.  Honestly, it was hard. And it was hard for a few weeks, but you recovered much faster than I expected.  You handled the pain of recovery pretty well while you were being given lortab.  After a few days of being home we stopped the lortab and started giving you just tylenol.  You didn't like that.  You were still in pain and started crying all the time, just like you did before you had the surgery.  But luckily, after just a few days the crying suddenly started to lessen with each passing day and now you rarely have those big long crying fits.

You used to cry all the time.  But now...well, you act like a totally different baby.  A lot of the time you are content to just lay on the couch and watch what's going on around you.  I could never put you down before the surgery because you would scream and scream.  Now I can put you down and play with you and get you to smile.  Cooper loves holding you, and it's much easier for me to let him hold you now that you're not screaming bloody murder all the time.  I'm so glad that you're feeling better and that the surgery helped take away some of your pain.  The doctors told me that it might not fix your pain - but I am so grateful that it did! You let out the biggest cheesiest smiles now and they just make me beam with pride.  I'm so proud of you for all that you've been through and so glad that you're finally feeling happy!

We are working on tummy time with you.  You can't quite hold you head up on your own yet, but I'm cutting you a break on this one considering everything you've had on your plate.  But, no more excuses, k? Hopefully with all the tummy time you and cooper do together you'll be holding that head steady in no time!

Sleep.  Oh, sleep.  You actually sleep pretty good for us, sweet boy.  Most nights you go down for the night around 9 or 10 and you sleep until about 6 or 6:30 if we're lucky.  I'm so glad that you are sleeping so well and I really hope you make a habit out of it!

You hate your carseat - just like your brother did at your age.  You scream and scream.  Sometimes you scream so hard that you make yourself throw up.  Those days aren't fun for anyone.  I try to limit the amount of time you have to spend in the car seat, but sometimes we gotta run errands and get out of the house! The last few days you've started to do a little better with is, so hopefully the trend continues.

You and your dad.  Boy, he sure can get some big smiles out of you! You love it when he comes home from work and plays with you.  He's kind of like cooper in the sense that he gets right down to your eye level and hangs out with you in your own element.  He's such a good dad to you.  You're lucky to have him - so take it easy on him in your teenage years ok?

Buddy, I love you.

Love, Mom

Spinal cord surgery

 As with any surgery, Milo could not eat anything after midnight.  We needed to be to the hospital to check in at 6:30.  We were nervous about him being starving and crying - but our little champ surprised us again.  He slept from 9PM until 6AM.  We had to wake him up to put him in his carseat and head out the door. Surgery was scheduled to start at 8AM and at 7:58AM we were walking down the hall with the anesthesiologist towards the OR.  Talk about being on schedule.

We went to the waiting room and were anxious to hear if milo would be woken up and have the procedure cancelled or if he would finally get his spinal cord fixed.  After being in surgery for 1 1/2 hours we finally felt like he was doing well and they decided to proceed.  Uncle Matt came up to the hospital and sat with us for a few hours. It was so nice to have him there and supporting us!

We got a call around 10:30 from the nurse in the OR and she said that everything was going great and that the doctor was just finishing up and it would only be another 30-60 minutes before they were done.  At 11:00 Dr. Brockmeyer came and got us to tell us details about the procedure.

He was able to completely untether the fat mass from milo's spinal cord and was also able to remove a considerable amount of fat from the bump.  Before, during, and after the surgery milo was hooked up to electrodes that they would occasionally shock to make sure that the spinal cord, brain, and muscles were all communicating the way they were supposed to.  Dr. Brockmeyer told us that he got great responses from every region while doing this except for the sphincter region.  The sphincter controls bladder and bowel function.  The lack of response during the procedure doesn't necessary mean that he won't have control over these things, but it means that it's something we need to watch out for and pay close attention to as he gets older.  But, all of his other muscles and neurological responses were great!

By 12:00 we were up in our recovery room and he was getting comfy in his new room here at primary children's hospital.  He has been in quite a bit of pain, but they have been giving him lortab as often as they can.  He has to stay completely flat for 48 hours after surgery.  He is almost always laying on his tummy except for when he is eating, then he's flat on his back.  His eyes have begun to swell and get red due to all the pressure on his face and head.  Hopefully the swelling can be controlled for the next 24 hours until he can be in other positions.

We are expected to stay here for 3-4 days while he recovers and then we'll be able to take him home for the remainder of his recovery.

MRI and Lipomyelomeningocele

Shortly after milo turned two months old he had an MRI done on his brain and pelvic/lumbar region. The MRI was looking at the bump on his back to see what it was connected to and how extensive it's connection was as well as looking at his brain for some key signs of spina bifida.

We had been anxiously awaiting this MRI because we were hoping it would answer all sorts of questions for us.  It was frustrating to have to wait until he was two months old to get the test done, but we wanted what was safest for milo - and the doctors assured us that it was worth it to wait.

Finally milo turned two months old and we had an MRI scheduled and then the night before got a phone call telling us the appointment was cancelled due to his recent hospitalization with RSV.  Apparently RSV hangs around in your lungs for quite sometime even after symptoms have gone away and with sedation or general anesthesia the respiratory weakness becomes quite a worry.

We had to wait an entire week before we could get the MRI done and still had to get a few of our doctors to pull a few strings for us to get the procedure done.

The morning of the MRI we were prepared for milo to go under general anesthesia for two hours and to be intubated during the test.  Much to our surprise we found out that our little man didn't even need to be intubated after all! He kept his vital signs nice and steady all on his own!

That night we were told that milo had a condition called lipomyelomeningocele - a rare form of spina bifida.  This condition typically manifests itself with a large fat mass on the back with a little dimple in the middle and a red birth mark. Exactly what milo had.

Milo's spinal cord was extra long and hung down further than the vertebrae and dura (the body parts that protect the cord). This left the cord exposed and vulnerable.  The fat mass on milo's back had tethered itself to milo's spinal cord and was pulling on the cord.  Now, the doctor said that this doesn't typically cause babies pain.  However, we really believe that milo is an exception.  He has clearly been uncomfortable and in pain for a considerable amount of his time here with us and we think it's due to this condition.  Call it parental intuition.

We met with the neurosurgeon a week later and he explained all the ins and outs of this condition.  He said that there are simple cases of spinal cord tethering and then there are difficult and complex cases.  Milo was right up there in the difficult and complex category.  This condition can weakness and tingly in the legs and even the inability to move or control the legs.  It can also take away the ability to control bladder and bowel functions.

He gave us the good news that he could operate within just a few days and the procedure was scheduled.  Again, there were concerns with milo's ability to handle surgery after dealing with RSV to recently.  Protocol says that doctors don't do surgery until 6 weeks after the end of RSV symptoms.  It had been 5 weeks since milo was discharged from the hospital.  The anesthesiologist told us that if she didn't feel comfortable with the way milo was breathing or holding any of his vitals as she started to put him under anesthesia that she would wake him up and re-schedule surgery for a few weeks later.

Blessing Day

Dallin gave Milo the most heart-felt tender, and loving blessing.

Considering everything that Milo has been through in his short life, I know that the words that came out of Dallin's mouth were truly inspired. I wish that I had the blessing word for word - but Cooper escaped Nana Jolley's watch when she closed her eyes for the blessing and before I knew it Cooper was half way up the aisle.  I had to chase him and caught him just in time. So, unfortunately, I don't have all the words that were spoken.  But, I do have the memory of the spirit that everyone felt that day - and it was strong.  So strong that it nearly brought tears to my eyes.

A few family and friends came to our house afterwards to celebrate and Milo could barely handle all the attention!

Two Month Letter

Milo love,

Well buddy you are going to be getting your MRI soon.  We're a little worried about it but I know you'll do just fine.  We had the MRI scheduled and had emotionally prepared ourselves for everything and then we got a call the night before saying that they couldn't do the test because you had had RSV so recently.  RSV is a pretty nasty virus that settles deep in the lungs and they were afraid that you wouldn't handle the anesthesia very well if your lungs were still compromised.  We were all super disappointed but wanted to do the best thing for you. Your MRI is now scheduled for next week.

You really do try to be a happy boy, but it's clear that something is bothering you.  Even when you're not crying your eyebrows are always furrowed and your super tense.  You arch your back all the time and throw your head back.  It's the saddest thing, and it breaks my heart that I can't do anything to take away your pain.  I feel like as your mother I should be able to comfort you and make you feel better, and the fact that I can't makes me feel inadequate.  I wish so badly that I could take your pain away.  Given the fact that you're in a constant state of pain it's surprising that we've gotten you to smile at all! You didn't smile for quite some time, but just recently you starting smiling just a little bit here and there.  One of the first people to get you to smile was your grandpa Jolley. Everyone calls him pop pop...that nickname will grow on you. You really love him and I love watching you two together.

Your favorite place to be is in your bouncer up in the bay window.  You don't handle just hanging out very well - except when you're in the window.  It's strange really, because if I put the bouncer on the floor of the living room or in our room you just scream and scream.  But if I put it back up in the window you just stare out the window and enjoy a few minutes of quiet time.  It's quite sweet.  Every now and then I'll put cooper up there with you and the two of you just have a grand old time.

Your brother loves you so much.  Cooper loves to do tummy time with you, he gets right down at your level and stares you in the eye.  He walks circles around you and gives you so many kisses and hugs that I have to stop him from loving on you too hard.  He's going to be such a big brother to you and I can't wait for the both of you to be old enough to play together.

I can't believe that you're already 2 months old! I feel like you were just born yesterday - you are the most amazing little boy.

Love you to the moon and back...

Mom

2 Month Check Up

2 month appointment - 7/3/2014

10 pounds 14 ounces - 4%

23 inches - 30%

RSV

After being home for only a week and a half poor milo caught a cold.  We tried so hard to protect him from everything we could, but cooper caught a cold just a few days after we brought him home.

The first two days of the cold we watched his breathing closely and did our best to keep his nose clear.  We knew he couldn't breathe well because the hospital was never able to pass a feeding tube through his left nostril.

Eventually milo got too congested for our comfort level and really started struggling to breathe.  And he had a slight fever as well.  Around 8:30PM Dallin took him up to primary children's hospital while I stayed home with Cooper.  I assumed that they would suction him out and they'd be home in a few hours.  I put Cooper to bed and went to bed myself.

The next thing I know it's 1:00AM and they still aren't home.  I call Dallin and he tells him that they've admitted milo and discovered that he has RSV.  His oxygen levels weren't great, so they put him on a nasal cannula to help him breathe better.

We spent the next 3 days taking turns spending our days and nights with milo at the hospital and cooper at home.  Milo was so congested and needed oxygen for the first 1 1/2 days and then after that he was able to keep his oxygen levels up on his own.  His voice and cry were so raspy that it was heartbreaking.  They had to keep suctioning him out every 4 hours or so or else his levels would drop.

With his narrow nostril, the doctors decided to do a CT scan to see if the nose bones in his face were misshapen and if they were then they'd have an ENT come meet with us.  The CT scan showed that his bone structure was normal, but that there was excess cartilage and it was blocking off the airflow. He had zero airflow through his left nostril! We decided that we would follow up with an ENT when we came home and see if there was something that could be done.

A few days later milo was doing much better and we got the green light to take him home.

Again, it was great to be home as a family again but we still were worried about his breathing and spent most of our time watching him closely.

One Month Letter

Mr Milo,

Oh boy, has it been a crazy month or what! You have definitely brought a whole lot of craziness into this family with all of your medical issues.  But, with that craziness comes an insane amount of love.  It's really quite amazing how fast and how deeply our love for you has grown in such a short amount of time.  Including cooper - he can't keep his hands off of you and kisses you at every chance he gets!

You spent almost 2 1/2 of the last 4 weeks in the hospital, and they weren't fun for any of us.  You had lots of testing done, you struggled with keeping your food down, learned how to eat from a bottle, and you stole the heart of every doctor and nurse that worked with you.  Every single time a new doctor/nurse would see you they would comment on how incredibly cute you were!

You developed quite a bond with several of your nurses and the day you turned 1 month old one of your very favorite nurses, kasey, came to visit you.  You and kasey spent a lot of time together while you were in the hospital.  She spent countless hours holding you, feeding you, singing to you, and being there for you when I couldn't be.  Kasey has a special place in our hearts forever and I know you're going to grow up to love her just as much as we do.

You're not the easiest baby, milo.  But it's not your fault.  You are just plain old sad most of the time.  I know that you're in pain - but I don't know how to help you. You've got the saddest cry I've ever heard - it's not just a fussy baby cry - it's definitely a painful cry. But, I'm not totally sure what's causing your pain in the first place.  You throw up most of what you eat and you scream bloody murder every time.  We've tried different formulas, bottles, and feeding positions to try and help you, but to no avail.  We just started you on some antacid medicine, so hopefully that will help soon.

Honestly, I think the bump on your back is what's causing your pain.  The doctors aren't sure if it is or not, but mama knows best.  I truly believe that once we figure out what's going on with that bump then we will know how to help you.  Once you turn 2 months old we can get an MRI done and have some answers.  I don't want you to grow up too fast, but I want you to hurry up and be 2 months old so that we can get that test done and get you feeling better!

Even though you're really sad most of the time, you are still such a sweetheart.  Cuddling and walking around together usually help calm you down, so we take a lot of walks around the neighborhood when you're upset.  I treasure those moments together where it's just me and you and sometimes we're both in tears.  They're hard moments, but precious moments.

Milo, you're a fighter and I love you more than you'll ever be able to understand.  I feel so blessed to be your mother!

Love, Mom

Home at Last

Milo was able to come home and we were all so excited about it - especially cooper!

Right away cooper starting touching him really softly and giving him kisses.  We were all so surprised at how naturally cooper accepted the role of big brother!


With Milo's history of struggling to breathe we were constantly worried about him when he first came home.  He was still having a little difficulty breathing and making noises that worried us.  We spent a lot of time just watching him and making sure that his breathing didn't get too bad.

Even though we have a lot of worry having him home with us and not having monitors to tell us that he's doing ok - we are thrilled to pieces to have him home and finally be together as a family of four.

Admitted to the NICU

Immediately after Milo was born they took him to the other side of the room and suctioned him out and performed the apgar test.  From all the way across the room I noticed a large red bump on his back and I knew it wasn't normal.  Then I heard the nurses and Dallin talking about some "extra tissue".  I had no idea what they were talking about.  I was trying to keep up with their conversation, but I was so exhausted and still in a little bit of pain as I was being stitched up.  They took Milo to the NICU to have them check out the bump.  It appeared that it wasn't connected to his spinal cord and he had full range of motion in his legs.  It also seemed like it wasn't causing him any pain, so they said they would look into it later and sent him back up to us.

Almost immediately after Milo was born I noticed that his cry was so sad sounding - not your typical newborn cry.  He was grunting with every cry and breathe and sounded like he was saying "uh-huh". We kept talking to the nurse about how weird it sounded.  He cried all through skin to skin - nothing I could do would console him.  Shushing, singing, holding him tight, patting his bum, rubbing his back. Nothing worked.  

We thought maybe he was hungry and so Dallin tried feeding him a bottle - he got a little bit of formula but not much.  He just wasn't able to eat. 

We made it up to our room in recovery and the nurse walked in and took a look at Milo.  Immediately she asked if he had been doing that grunting for awhile.  I told her that he'd been doing it since he was born and I was concerned about it.  She said she was concerned too and arranged to have him taken to the nurses station to be checked out.  Dallin went with him because I didn't want him alone.  They're gone for quite awhile - something like an hour I think - and the next thing I know I'm being told that Milo has been admitted into the NICU because he wasn't breathing well. 

My parents had arrived at that point, which was so nice to have them there to comfort me and keep me distracted from the fact that my baby wasn't breathing well at all and there was nothing I could do about it. I spoke with Dallin on the phone and he gave me some updates.  When Milo arrived in the NICU he oxygen saturation was in the low 70's and his respiratory rate was well over 100.  Neither of those numbers are good.  I wasn't allowed to go see Milo until I had more movement in my legs and could get in and out of the wheelchair. With labor and delivery happening so quick, my epidural was still in full force for quite awhile. So, it took awhile for me to have enough movement to make it down there.

As soon as I was able to, Dallin wheeled me down to the NICU and we stood next to our sweet miracle boy all hooked up to oxygen, a feeding tube, and lots of wires for monitoring.  I've never experienced something so heartbreaking than to see my own child struggle to breathe.

We were told that he was born with pneumonia in his lungs.  They weren't sure how it got there, but they were sure that it was there.  Also, he didn't get a good breathe when he was first born so one lung was collapsed.   They started him on antibiotics to treat the pneumonia and hoped that the nasal cannula oxygen would help encourage his lung to inflate.

It didn't take too long for them to realize that he needed more help than just a nasal cannula.  They put him on high flow oxygen and waited to see if he could hold his stats.  He didn't respond well, and shortly after they put him on a CPAP machine.  A CPAP machine puts pressure into the lungs to help keep them inflated and offers humid air for them to breathe.  Milo started responding well to the CPAP and began holding his stats more stable.

Over the next few days Milo's stats would go up and down.  Every time that they lowered the percentage of oxygen his stats would drop.  They were close to intubating him, but luckily that never had to happen.

By this time Milo had been in the NICU for about 10 days, and he had been stable long enough that they decided to switch him to high flow oxygen.  He responded well most of the time but would still struggle every time they lowered the oxygen level.  So they kept lowering his oxygen just a little bit and then ended up bringing it up again.  They did another x-ray to check out the pneumonia since his breathing wasn't improving the way they thought it should.  They x-ray showed that he still had pneumonia in his lungs and that one lung was fairly deflated.

A few more days go by and they are finally able to change milo to a regular nasal cannula.  He responded much better than anyone expected and continuously held his vitals. At this point we were able to start feeding him a bottle.  He did really well and picked up on eating right away - and most of the time he was able to keep his oxygen levels up while doing it! We were told that if he could eat all of his feedings by mouth for 48 hours then he could go home - assuming he was also off oxygen at that point.  We thought that it would take awhile for milo to gain the strength to be able to take a bottle every three hours, but within a few days he was doing it.  We were so proud.  And then all of the sudden he was off of oxygen.

They hadn't planned to remove his oxygen, but the nurse went in his room to check on him and saw that milo had pulled his nasal cannula out.  She had no idea it had been pulled out, but he had kept his vitals stable all day. So she just removed the oxygen all together and they never had to put it back on.

Milo kept eating well and breathing pretty well.  After completing an infant CPR class and watching a few infant safety DVDs they told us that we could finally take him home.

The next morning we packed him up and headed home with our new baby.  He came home after spending 18 days in the NICU.  

Birth Story

I was induced at 37 weeks pregnant because Milo was measuring small.  There was concern that he wasn't getting all the blood flow and nutrition he needed from the umbilical cord that was missing a vessel.  To decrease the risk of this pregnancy resulting in a stillbirth my doctor decided to induce me early.

We checked into the hospital at 9:00 and I was dilated to a 4, 70% effaced and having contractions.  Little milo was ready to come.  They started me on pitocin at 10:15 and contractions began to get stronger.  We hung out for half an hour and talked about how excited we were to meet this little one. We talked in between contractions of course.  At 10:45 they broke my water and immediately my contractions became much more intense.  The anesthesiologist was ready to give me an epidural and got one in as fast as he could.  Unfortunately my body was just progressing too quickly for the medicine to catch up to the pain.

I was in so much pain.  I was literally in tears with each contraction.  I focused on not holding my breath during each contraction and Dallin did his best to comfort me.  I got 3 doses of the epidural medicine and I finally started to feel some relief around 11:45 - but mostly on just my left side.  I still felt pain in my right side, but there was nothing we could do about that because suddenly I was ready to push! The nurse checked me and I was fully dilated and 100% effaced and ready to have a baby.

Dr. Porter came in and sang my praises for enduring such a crazy fast labor with basically no medicine since I was fully dilated by the time the medicine kicked in.  He told me to get ready to push.

I pushed through one contraction.

He told me to push one more time and we'd have our sweet milo here.

I couldn't believe that he was coming so fast, I was overcome with all sorts of emotions and it took everything in me to give one final push to welcome my miracle baby.

Milo David Jolley was born at 12:00 in the afternoon. 

Pregnancy

It's hard being pregnant when you're chasing around a tiny toddler.

I was sick. So very sick. All the time.

Unfortunately this resulted in very minimal belly pictures throughout my pregnancy.

18 weeks

26 weeks

30 weeks

35 weeks

36 weeks